The Things We Never Say

Elizabeth Strout

47 pages 1-hour read

Elizabeth Strout

The Things We Never Say

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2026

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Themes

The Weight of Unspoken Truths

In The Things We Never Say, secrets are depicted as fundamental components of the human condition, reinforcing the deep isolation of each character. Even when long-held truths are finally revealed, they often do little more than illuminate the uncrossable gulfs that prevent certain characters from ever fully knowing each other’s thoughts and private convictions. Strout explores this theme by showing how a decades-long secret transforms the institution of marriage itself into a silent arrangement that traps individual characters in the loneliness of their private burdens. In this context, even direct confessions fail to forge a lasting intimacy, ultimately affirming a vision of humanity in which every person is an unknowable “island.”


The central secret of the novel—Evie’s long-ago affair with Reginald MacDonald and Rob’s true paternity—exemplifies the paradoxical idea that shared knowledge can give rise to an insoluble sense of separation. Once Rob reveals the truth of Reginald’s role, Artie makes the pivotal decision not to confront Evie, and his silence places a new layer of distance between them—even as the affair explains the existing fractures in their marriage. As Artie muses, “We have always sat in this room with this huge thing silently between us” (101). However, the third-person narration immediately interjects, taking the train of thought one step further, stating, “Only it had not been between them because he had never known” (101). These two lines in conjunction capture the paradox that now separates the two characters: Evie believes that she bears the secret alone, but Artie bears both the awareness of the secret itself and the fact that Evie is unaware of his awareness. His own choice to remain silent thus isolates him even further from the woman with whom he shares his life. Their coexistence continues, but any illusion of genuine intimacy has been shattered, replaced by Artie’s quiet understanding of how little they truly know one another.


Strout reinforces this vision of isolation by populating her world with secondary characters who also carry significant private burdens. Early in the novel, at a party at the Merrills’ house, Artie realizes that his friends and neighbors are all concealing immense personal tragedies—from a daughter in rehab to a recent abortion and a long-standing affair. However, these unpleasant facts remain hidden behind the party’s bland façade of social pleasantries. Significantly, the couple’s subsequent analysis of the party’s inherent falseness is punctuated by Evie’s decision to quote the late Reginald, who once cynically asserted that “each man is an island” (15). Introduced fairly early in the narrative, Reginald’s words echo through the characters’ various struggles, representing a core idea of the novel. Within this context, Artie’s private bouts of suicidal ideation represent the most extreme version of unspoken truths, for to conceal his secret fascination with ending his life, he performs a jovial public persona for the benefit of his wife and students, who never suspect that, in the earliest chapters of the novel, he is silently planning his death.


Even when certain secrets are spoken aloud, the confessions often serve to highlight the speaker’s solitude, and this dynamic is demonstrated when the plumber, Tom Marino, breaks down and confesses his wife’s affair to Artie, a near-stranger. Despite the man’s show of raw vulnerability, Artie’s inadequate response renders it nothing more than a fleeting cry of pain into the void. Similarly, at the end of the novel, when Flossie finally admits to her old affair with Ed Merrill, Artie sees her confession as a sad post-mortem on her lonely marriage to Reginald, and he has progressed far beyond any ability or inclination to help her. Unlike Rob’s confession to Artie, ill-timed revelations such as these do not mend relationships; they can only expose the raw, solitary pain that their confessors have carried within themselves. Thus, despite Artie and Rob’s success at making peace with the past, most of the characters are so deeply immersed in their own private worlds that they can never truly share the experience of living within them. In this sense, the novel suggests that every character in the novel—and by implication, every person on the planet—is fundamentally, irrevocably alone.

The Negative Effects of Political Polarization

The intense political division of the United States in the 2020s serves as more than just a backdrop, for as Strout pointedly connects the nation’s intensifying turmoil to the characters’ personal struggles, the novel implicitly argues that this toxic atmosphere has seeped into every level of American society, corroding personal relationships and accelerating social decay. As the story progresses, this ominous force manifests in the unspoken tensions and outright animosity that erode trust at Artie’s school and threaten to disrupt his community. At different points in time, Artie and Evie’s anxious but oblique references to the “incoming president” (Donald Trump in his second term) dramatize the existential dread that broadly characterizes the zeitgeist of 2020s America.


These narrative patterns are apparent in the actions of multiple characters. Artie’s thoughts articulate the common fear that the United States is staggering toward a grim authoritarian future, while Evie’s response captures the paradoxical mix of apprehension and hesitation that dominated in the wake of the 2024 presidential election. Upon Trump’s defeat of Kamala Harris, Artie wholeheartedly agrees with Rob’s assessment that “we’re fucked,” while Evie responds with a guarded, “Well, it's bad, but we'll just have to wait and see what [Trump] does” (110). As all of the characters marinate in the helplessness of this “wait and see” approach, not knowing what else to do, the country’s tense political backdrop exacerbates Artie’s growing psychological distress, foreshadowing his eventual breakdown.


In the meantime, he must contend with the insidious decay of civic life that America’s political polarization engenders, and Strout’s own stance on the matter can be intuited from her vivid depiction of the fight that erupts at a high school soccer game. What begins as a dispute over a referee’s call quickly spirals into antisemitic slurs and physical violence, with both students and parents getting involved. As Artie watches in silent disbelief, the conflict reveals the rage simmering just beneath the surface of everyday interactions. When the principal, Hoover Lakeland, tries to restore order, he is booed by some in the crowd, and this reflexive response signals a dangerous breakdown in respect for authority and communal norms. This event demonstrates that the toxicity of the national political climate has infected even the most mundane of local spaces, turning a standard community gathering into a theater of hatred and aggression.


This societal pressure also compromises the community’s institutional and personal integrity, creating a climate of fear and preemptive capitulation. For example, when Hoover Lakeland shamefacedly asks Artie to begin teaching the “Confederate side” of the Civil War, he openly acknowledges that this request is born of parental complaints, and he recognizes the corrosive effects of his decision to engage in this act of “anticipatory obedience.” As Hoover bitterly acknowledges, “This is how it all happens” (73), and his words deliver the author’s own condemnation of public institutions’ choice to compromise their core values in an attempt to appease extremist demands. Later in the narrative, the unspoken truths enshrined in the novel’s title take on an even more ominous tone with Hoover’s suicide. When Artie learns of the death threats that Hoover received after his decision to harbor undocumented immigrants, this revelation harshly punctuates the sinister social forces at work. Hoover’s death, therefore, stands as a grim testament to the fatal consequences of resisting the country’s encroaching authoritarianism, suggesting that American society has begun to devalue such displays of moral courage.


As Artie’s reluctant compliance with the alterations to his curriculum shows, the country’s pervasive political divide ultimately forces individuals into silence, adding to the ever-growing tally of “the things we never say.” Yet even within this silence, Strout injects a note of hope and potential reconciliation, for Artie manages to retain his solid friendship with Ken Moynihan, the man who saved his life, despite Ken’s unspoken support for the president whose actions have caused Artie and others such anguish. can barely countenance. Significantly, however, this bond can only be sustained by the two men’s mutual, unspoken agreement never to discuss their respective stances on national politics. While Artie and Ken’s relationship depends in part upon this careful dance of avoidance, the fact that Ken saved Artie’s life transcends their widely differing but unspoken views. By including this layered relationship, Strout refrains from condemning one camp outright and instead delivers a more thoughtful, nuanced answer to the political polarization that haunts America’s communities.


However, while Ken’s presence in the novel suggests a tentative path forward at the individual level, the novel’s epilogue presents a grimmer outlook on the country’s slide toward authoritarianism. Citing the real-world establishment of a poorly run prison called “Alligator Alcatraz” and emphasizing Rob’s move to Brussels to work for the European Union, Strout suggests that the global collapse of institutional trust is the logical conclusion of the social decay depicted throughout the book.

Redefining Fatherhood as a Social Commitment

In The Things We Never Say, the concept of fatherhood is deliberately uncoupled from biology and redefined as an act of sustained love and unwavering presence. The central revelation that Artie Dam is not Rob’s biological father becomes the ultimate test of their father-son bond. Rather than fracturing their relationship, this discovery purifies and strengthens it, proving that their connection has nothing to do with genetics and is instead the result of a shared lifetime of emotional commitment. Through Artie’s immediate and unconditional acceptance of Rob, the novel argues that true fatherhood is earned, not inherited.


Even in the midst of the emotional conversation that reveals Reginald’s surreptitious role, Artie’s identity as Rob’s father is never shaken or questioned; he immediately reassures his anguished son that their relationship has not changed one iota, and this moment portrays true fatherhood as an instinctual and immutable truth that has nothing to do with the facts of Rob’s conception. As Artie tells Rob, “You’re my son. It makes no difference to me” (92). As stunned as he is by the news of Evie’s affair, he feels no period of anger, doubt, or resentment toward the person he has spent his life raising to adulthood. Artie’s steadfast conviction is later reinforced when Rob expresses a fear of having inherited Reginald’s more unlikeable traits, for Artie immediately dismisses the notion by stating, “Well. He wasn’t your father. I was” (112). With this simple declaration, Artie claims his fatherhood and emphasizes his decades of raising, nurturing, and loving his son.


Notably, Reginald’s deathbed revelation never comes between the two characters, and the secret they now share actually deepens their bond by forcing Artie and Rob to consciously acknowledge the many non-biological reasons for their mutual love and respect. When Francesca, Rob’s wife, reveals to Artie that Rob’s immediate reaction to the DNA test was to declare, “I love Dad even more” (94), this detail reinforces the fact that their relationship is sustained by an affirmed choice. Artie recalls that throughout Rob’s childhood, his love would expand like a “huge billowing cloud” (95), repeatedly surpassing what he thought was its limit.  


Artie’s authentic, nurturing approach to fatherhood far outstrips Reginald MacDonald’s sterile, self-serving claim to paternity, which Reginald only makes at the very end of his life—and via the safe distance of a written note. Because Reginald never truly engages in Rob’s upbringing (save for a few momentary gestures), his deathbed letter is nothing more than a monument to his own arrogance. He even admits to his selfish motivation at the outset, stating that his reason for revealing the secret is pure “Ego” and a desire to “lay claim” to the son he did not raise himself. His only real connection to Rob is the abstract fact of his biology, but Artie has always been a strong, emotional presence in Rob’s life. As a result, Reginald’s confession invokes nothing but disgust from the son he belatedly claims, and Rob’s intensified love for Artie solidifies the novel’s championing of true paternity as a steadfast social commitment on the part of the father. In this, Artie easily stands as Rob’s father despite the objective truth of Reginald’s claim.

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