This Is How It Always Is

Laurie Frankel

This Is How It Always Is

Laurie Frankel
59 pages1-hour read
Fiction
Novel
Adult
Published in 2017

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Part 3, Chapters 31-35Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of transgender discrimination, illness, and death.

Part 3, Chapter 31 Summary: “Exit Rows”

As they prepare to go to Thailand, Rosie encourages Poppy to be whoever she wants to be, but Claude refuses: “I have to be Claude. […] Claude is my punishment” (242). Speaking to Rosie on the phone, Carmelo presses her about the state of her relationship with Penn. Rosie insists he will be fine without her. “But will you with him, dear?” Carmelo asks (244). Rosie complains to Carmelo about Penn’s idealism regarding the hormone blockers. Carmelo asks Rosie if she has asked Poppy what she thinks. Rosie admits that she has not.

Part 3, Chapter 32 Summary: “Away”

Rosie and Poppy arrive in Bangkok. Though the airplane ride is cold and boring, Poppy quickly discovers that she prefers the plane to the heat and lack of personal space in the city. However, in Bangkok, she starts to notice “people—women—like him. Like Poppy” (249). Poppy cannot keep her eyes off these beautiful, feminine women. She is amazed that they can live their secret out in the open. Rosie and Poppy begin the drive to the clinic—which is deep inside the jungle—for the first time.

Part 3, Chapter 33 Summary: “Aid Ambiguous”

Rosie and Poppy meet K, who serves as the clinic’s mechanic, ambulance driver, and midwife. The clinic is made of cinder blocks with barred windows and curling linoleum floors. Patients wait outside in lawn chairs. They are treated on wooden platforms instead of beds. Rosie attempts to deliver a baby whose mother has a heart condition due to scarlet fever. The baby is born healthy, but the mother soon experiences trouble breathing. Rosie asks K for oxygen, but the clinic has none. Rosie soon realizes that the clinic has none of the tools she needs to save the mother’s life. Rosie asks K what they do. K replies, “We watch, help ease, be witness” (260). The mother dies, and Rosie and K move on to treat the next patient. After a hectic first day at the clinic, Rosie starts to miss Penn.

Part 3, Chapter 34 Summary: “Novice”

While Rosie works at the clinic, Poppy volunteers at a school. The head of the school asks her to teach the children English. Because her head is shaved, the children think she is a monk. They also call her pretty. Claude reflects, “At home, you did not call boys pretty. Pretty meant girl” (265). The students ask Poppy why she shaved her head, and Poppy admits that she was angry. The children agree that anger is a good reason. To teach the students, Poppy asks them what they want to be when they grow up. After answering, they ask Poppy the same question. Immediately, in his head, Poppy answers, “Poppy” (267). Though the children are eight years old, many of them are attending school for first time due to family obligations or financial constraints. After volunteering, Poppy speaks to his father via Skype about the possibility that the students might have identified her as a girl. Penn confirms that this is a central question in Poppy’s life. He also says that the students probably see Poppy as American, white, and healthy before they see her gender. Penn encourages Claude to see herself the way he wants. “I see nothing,” Claude replies. “I am unforeseeable” (270).

Part 3, Chapter 35 Summary: “Bonesetters”

Rosie worries about Poppy’s happiness in Thailand and ask if she wants to go home. She immediately says no. Rosie makes progress at the clinic despite a lack of supplies. She learns to replace antibiotics with honey and use crushed papaya seeds to treat worms. She finds that her talent for improvising serves her well. Rosie learns more about K’s multiple roles at the clinic, seeing that she serves as a physical therapist as well. When a pregnant woman with a broken leg is wheeled into the clinic, Rosie realigns her bone by hand. Rosie reflects on her inability to find these replacement remedies to ease Poppy’s pain; she “didn’t know what that trick was yet, but she was getting a crash course in looking for it” (275).

Part 3, Chapters 31-35 Analysis

Rosie and Poppy’s departure brings an unprecedented rupture between Rosie and Penn, toppling the reader’s understanding of them as an interdependent, symbiotic couple. For the first time in the book, we see them diverge, showing that the challenges of parenting can try even the strongest couples. In Thailand, Poppy’s awe of the openly trans community sheds light on the binary thinking around gender in the United States and builds upon the book’s theme of gender ambiguity. This encounter foreshadows Poppy’s re-embrace of her gender identity. This section also introduces the topic of privilege, contrasting Rosie and Poppy’s challenges of parenting and self-realization with the realities of disease, famine, lack of resources, and death in Thailand.


The motif of storytelling reemerges as a learning tool as Poppy’s uses stories to teach English to Thai students. Here, the stories also serve a social function, facilitating cultural exchange between Poppy and her students. She finds that they have several fairy tales in common. Yet, for the first time, she understands that many fairy tales are nonsensical. Here, the book begins to deconstruct fairy tales and their endings in favor of a more open-ended, less naive worldview.

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