Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. How did the novel’s fractured, non-linear structure affect your reading experience? Did you find that shifting between past memories, present events, and formal oaths made the story more compelling or challenging to follow?

2. The book ends on a quiet, hopeful note with the birth of a calf. What did you think of this resolution? Did it feel like a satisfying conclusion to Bekija and Dhana’s journey, or were there unresolved questions you were left with?

3. The tradition of sworn virgins is central to the plot, offering a unique path to male social status. Have you encountered similar stories of gender transformation for survival or social mobility in other books you’ve read? How does Bekija’s transformation into Matija compare to stories like Middlesex (2002) by Jeffrey Eugenides, especially given the life-or-death stakes in her world?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. How does the pressure of family honor, as dictated by the Kanun, shape the characters’ choices? Think about a time you felt a strong sense of duty or expectation from your family or community. How did it influence your decisions?

2. Bekija makes the impossible choice of tying the black armband around Sále’s arm, marking him for death. Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to make a choice that felt impossible? How did you settle on the final decision you made, and how does this help inform your understanding of Bekija’s position?

3. Sále flees his oppressive home to build a new life as a dancer in Sofia. Have you ever changed your environment or community to discover or embrace parts of yourself that were suppressed in your original surroundings?

4. Bekija’s intense desire for her father’s approval shapes her entire childhood and identity. Have you ever been in the position of striving for the approval of a parental or authority figure? What feelings motivated this desire? Did you successfully attain that approval or do you find yourself still seeking it?

5. Dhana initially leaves because she feels the weight of their shared trauma makes a future together impossible. Have you ever felt that the weight of the past made a relationship in the present feel difficult or out of reach? How did you reconcile this challenge?

6. The revelation about Dhana’s hidden letter completely alters Bekija’s understanding of her life. Have you ever been in a situation where a crucial detail revised something you held to be true for a long time? What did it feel like to realize the truth after all that time?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. How did you react to the Kanun’s code of honor, where hospitality rules are sacred but a blood feud can be triggered over a broken engagement? Where do you see remnants of such rigid honor codes operating in the world today?

2. The novel explores the destructive impact of “son preference” on Bekija and her family. In what ways does this societal bias still affect families and gender dynamics around the world?

3. The Kanun creates a society with rigid rules and brutal consequences that can feel almost dystopian. How did its function in the novel compare to other controlled societies in literature, such as the one in Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale (1985)?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. What effect did the author’s choice to use non-linear storytelling have on the novel’s suspense and emotional impact? How did learning about Murash’s murder at the beginning, for example, change how you read the flashbacks to his life?

2. How does the medical revelation of fetus in fetu function as the novel’s central metaphor? In what ways does this literalize the psychological and social pressures Bekija has faced her entire life?

3. Murash’s razor is a powerful symbol throughout the narrative. How does its meaning shift from a tool of masculine performance to a reminder of Bekija’s violent self-erasure as she transitions into Matija?

4. What do you think is the significance of the pigeons and the dovecote? How does Murash’s final obsession with building the dovecote reflect his relationship with legacy, freedom, and the Kanun?

5. Bekija’s identity is fractured between her given self and her chosen persona, Matija. How does the narrative show that this transformation was less a true gender transition and more an Identity Rewritten by Survival?

6. How does the recurring motif of milk evolve throughout the story? What does it initially represent, and how is its meaning tainted and transformed by trauma and forbidden desire?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. What do you imagine happens for Bekija and Dhana after the novel’s final scene? Try to picture their conversation the next day and what their future together might look like.

2. Sále’s letters are important for revealing the past. If you were to write a final letter from Sále to his sister after learning she and Dhana have reunited, what would he say?

3. If you were designing a cover for this book, which symbol or scene would you choose to represent its core themes, and why? Would you focus on the razor, the dovecote, the blue dress, or something else entirely?