In many ways, this novel speaks to the power of the human spirit to change through their ability to be self-aware and use their intellect for self-analysis and reflection. However, this theme is complicated by the novel’s contention that people are generally ignorant when it comes to their own behavior and situations. 

With Don, Simsion renders a character who grows profoundly by means of his own determination and insights, as well as a little additional help from his friends. At the beginning of the novel, Don studies the behavior of others with great attention and detail. His observations lead him to insights about human nature and behavior, though he struggles to understand what they mean or how to respond to them. Early in the novel, Don says, “Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others” (82), which describes his own life. Don is often completely oblivious to the ways he violates social conventions; he also doesn’t recognize that he has the ability to change this. Later, this statement takes on an additional ironic twist because he cannot see what is obvious to his friends: that he is developing serious feelings for Rosie. However, through the experience and practice that come through his relationships—with Daphne, Gene, Claudia, and Rosie—he is eventually able to gain the self-awareness required for him to change for the better. Don’s increased insight leads him to develop deeper and more meaningful relationships.

To a lesser extent, this theme is embodied by Gene and Rosie as well. When Don confronts Gene about the negative effects his actions have on everyone around him, Gene decides to change so he can preserve his marriage and friendship. Meanwhile, Rosie learns to stop standing in the way of her own happiness and partially let go of her emotional baggage, as well as the unfair expectations she brought to her relationship with Don as a result. These changes are not as substantial as Don’s, but they still support the theme.