What We Did to Survive
What We Did to Survive
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death, physical abuse, substance use, and cursing.
The Dangers of Misplaced Trust
In Megan Lally’s What We Did to Survive, the idyllic Mexican resort setting creates a deceptive sense of security, making its characters vulnerable to people who exploit charm and authority. The novel argues that misplaced trust, when based on appearances and carefully cultivated impressions rather than a fuller understanding of a person’s actions and motives, sets off a catastrophic chain of events. Through the characters of the reckless Captain Keith and the charming but manipulative Bennett “Ben” Mulholland, the story illustrates how easily trust can be exploited, leading to betrayals that erode the group’s sense of safety and leave the teenagers struggling to survive. The narrative serves as a cautionary tale, demonstrating that serious threats can arrive disguised as appealing opportunities or seemingly trustworthy figures.
The first betrayal comes from Keith, a man trusted because of his apparent experience and authority. Despite numerous red flags—the empty marina, warnings from other boaters about an impending storm, and his own flippant remarks about his “neglected” vessel—the group defers to his authority. Jackson’s initial skepticism is overruled by Ben’s confidence and Emmy’s desire for adventure. Keith’s breezy assurance that they’ll be “back long before the bad weather hits” proves dangerously unreliable and reflects his willingness to prioritize a paid charter despite mounting concerns about the weather (31). His subsequent drunkenness is a serious breach of the responsibility entrusted to him, directly stranding the teenagers at sea. This initial lapse in judgment shows how a decision to trust a seemingly reliable authority figure while overlooking warning signs can have life-altering consequences.
While Keith’s betrayal is born of negligence, Ben’s involves carefully cultivating the trust of those around him for his own benefit. He uses his wealth and charisma to quickly establish trust, buying Emmy expensive gifts and charming her parents. This performance masks a deeply manipulative and violent nature. Emmy, drawn to the image Ben presents, places her faith in this constructed image and dismisses the early suspicions of Hannah and Jackson. Her trust is so complete that she follows him onto a strange boat against her brother’s explicit warnings. Ben leverages this trust to influence her decisions and encourage increasingly risky choices, and once they’re at sea, his true self emerges. His transition from a considerate suitor to a violent and controlling figure demonstrates the danger of basing trust on carefully managed appearances rather than a fuller understanding of a person’s character and actions.
Ultimately, Emmy’s misplaced trust intensifies the danger facing the group. After Keith goes overboard during Ben’s confrontation with him, Ben immediately pivots to controlling the narrative, threatening to implicate everyone if they don’t adhere to his version of events. For a time, Emmy struggles to reconcile Ben’s actions with the caring and attentive image he initially presented, struggling to fully acknowledge the pattern of his violent behavior. It’s only after Ben chokes Hannah and threatens to kill them all that Emmy is forced to confront the truth. Her strategic decision to feign allegiance to him marks a crucial turning point, allowing her to use his confidence in her loyalty to gain an advantage. By pretending to be on his side, she manipulates the manipulator, showing that survival often requires re-evaluating people and situations as circumstances change.
The Moral Ambiguity of Survival
By stranding its teenage protagonists on the open ocean, What We Did to Survive places them in circumstances where survival and moral responsibility often come into conflict. The novel explores how extreme isolation, fear, and uncertainty force the characters to make increasingly difficult choices. As the situation deteriorates, the characters must balance their desire to survive with their sense of responsibility toward one another. Lally demonstrates that in a life-or-death struggle, actions such as deception, imprisonment, and violence can become morally complicated responses to immediate threats. The characters’ increasingly desperate actions reflect the pressures of survival and the difficult decisions that emerge when safety, trust, and self-preservation are at stake.
Ben is the first to place his own interests above the safety and well-being of the rest of the group. His violent confrontation with Keith ends with Keith going overboard during the storm, creating a crisis that Ben immediately attempts to control for his own benefit. After Keith disappears, Ben begins shaping the narrative to protect himself, threatening the others and discouraging any account of events that could implicate him. Ben’s actions are consistently driven by self-preservation; he’s willing to sacrifice others to protect his own future. He tells the group, “If I go down for this, I’m taking the three of you with me” (75), revealing his willingness to endanger the others in order to avoid the consequences of his actions.
In response to Ben’s escalating violence, the other characters are forced to make increasingly difficult decisions to protect themselves and one another. Initially, Hannah, Jackson, and Emmy operate with a sense of fairness and restraint. However, after Ben reveals his willingness to kill, their focus shifts toward preventing further violence and keeping the group safe. Their decision to imprison him in the bathroom restricts his freedom of movement, but it’s presented as a response to the threat he poses. Jackson’s attempt to frighten Ben in the water by pretending that dolphins are sharks is another example of the difficult choices the group faces. He uses fear as a tool to regain control of a dangerous situation, highlighting how survival can push people toward actions they might not otherwise consider. These actions reflect the pressures of survival and the challenging moral decisions that emerge when fear, responsibility, and self-preservation collide.
The theme culminates in Hannah’s final confrontation with Ben, which forces her to make a life-or-death decision. After Ben escapes and reveals his willingness to kill the others in order to ensure that his version of events is the only one believed, the threat he poses becomes increasingly difficult to contain. When he attacks Hannah on the rock outcropping, her actions are driven by the need to protect herself and Emmy from further violence. Hannah’s final action, tripping Ben and sending him over the cliff’s edge, illustrates the extreme choices that emerge under conditions of fear and survival. The novel presents this moment as the outcome of a prolonged and escalating threat, highlighting how survival can force individuals to make decisions that carry significant moral and emotional consequences.
The Corrosive Power of Unchecked Privilege
What We Did to Survive uses the character of Ben to argue that unchecked privilege fosters a dangerous sense of entitlement and a belief that consequences can be avoided through wealth, status, or family influence. Ben’s belief that his money and social position can solve problems and shield him from accountability becomes increasingly dangerous once he’s removed from the systems that usually give those advantages power. Throughout the novel, Ben’s privilege encourages decisions that place both himself and others at risk, revealing how entitlement can distort a person’s judgment and relationships. Ben’s journey from a charming and wealthy suitor to an increasingly violent and self-serving figure illustrates how privilege, when left unchecked, can contribute to the crisis that ultimately overwhelms him.
From his introduction, Ben uses his wealth and social status to shape how others perceive him. He uses his family’s money to create an image of himself as a generous and considerate provider, buying gifts and chartering a private sailboat to impress Emmy. This act of chartering the boat is a key example of his entitlement; when official, safety-conscious tours are canceled due to an approaching storm, Ben simply buys his way around the rules. He finds the one captain desperate enough to ignore the danger, treating established safety precautions as obstacles to getting what he wants. He frames this decision as a romantic gesture, telling the Coles that he can get a private boat so “there aren’t a bunch of strangers with [them]” (18). This mindset, which places his personal desires above established safety protocols, contributes directly to the circumstances that leave the group stranded at sea.
When Ben’s carefully planned outing begins to unravel, his privilege manifests as a reluctance to accept responsibility for his actions. Having grown accustomed to the protection afforded by his wealth and family status, he repeatedly attempts to shift blame and avoid accountability. After assaulting Keith, his first instinct is to use financial threats, and when Keith threatens him with arrest, Ben’s actions contribute to a confrontation that ends with Keith going overboard. His privilege has taught him that problems can be bought, bullied, or buried. This pattern escalates after the group becomes stranded, as he coldly informs them, “My family will never let me do time in some Mexican jail, and I’ll happily throw you all under the bus” (75). He views his family name as protection from the consequences of his actions, a belief that distances him from the moral and legal implications of his behavior.
Ultimately, the story demonstrates the limits of privilege in a survival situation. Once the boat is broken and they’re lost at sea, Ben’s money and status can no longer solve the immediate challenges facing the group. His identity as “a fucking Mulholland” can’t fix an engine, summon a rescue party, or navigate a storm (98). In fact, his entitled mindset becomes his downfall. Removed from the systems that usually give his wealth and family name influence, Ben is forced to confront circumstances that can’t be controlled through money or status. His final, desperate attempt to steal Hannah’s life vest while screaming, “I deserve it more!” (173), reveals the extent of his belief that his needs should take precedence over those of others. His belief that wealth and status should place him above others continues to shape his decisions, leaving him ill-equipped to confront circumstances that can’t be controlled through privilege alone.
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