A Militz guard escorted Gerda to the Feigenblatt apartment, where Abek’s mother and sisters Paula and Lola warmly embraced her. They explained a plan to trade one of their sewing machines for a working card that would free Gerda from transport, but she felt uneasy that Abek may have ordered them to help her at their own expense.

When her two-hour permit expired, Gerda rejoined the other women, including her friend Ilse, and they were marched to a Dulag, a transit camp serving as a labor pool for German industry. Inside an unfinished brick building, Gerda and Ilse claimed top-tier bunks. During an evening assembly, a civilian selected 50 women—including Gerda, Ilse, and all those from Bielitz—for a weaving mill. The women discovered a room of prisoners in poor health awaiting transport to Auschwitz and gave them their bread. Later, Gerda offered her food to a dying girl who blessed her.

The supervisor informed Gerda that a working card had been secured, but she hesitated, realizing that acceptance would oblige her to marry Abek. After she decided to stay with her group, panic struck, and she tried to reverse her choice, but another girl had already taken her place. That night, while suffering from menstrual cramps, she found relief when cooling rain began.

On July 2, 1942, Gerda and the other women boarded a train for their assigned labor camp. At the station, a Militz guard brought an envelope from the commander, but Gerda impulsively tore it up without reading it. On the train, Gerda befriended Suse Kunz, a cheerful Viennese girl who offered Ilse aspirin. They bet strawberries and cream on when the war would end.

That afternoon, they arrived at Bolkenhain and were met by Frau Kügler, the grim-faced Lagerführerin, or camp supervisor. After marching through town past varied reactions from German civilians, they reached the Kramsta-Methner-Frahne weaving mill. The director and Frau Kügler selected personnel: Malvine Berger as Judenälteste (senior “Jewess”), a cook, two kitchen helpers, and Litzi, a dimpled young woman with black hair, as nurse. Mrs. Berger delivered a stern speech that impressed Gerda. The women were led to clean quarters with three-tiered bunks that Gerda dubbed the “Catacombs.” After a meal, they went to bed. That night, Gerda watched the moon rise and asked it to say goodnight to her loved ones before falling asleep.

The first morning at Bolkenhain, Mrs. Berger slapped a girl to establish authority, repulsing Gerda. Although she knew that establishing authority would ultimately protect the prisoners by reassuring the Nazis, she found this violence unforgivable. Each girl received three yellow stars to wear. In the factory, foreman Meister Zimmer delivered a threatening speech about working for Nazi victory, warning that those who failed to produce would be exterminated. The grueling work involved operating up to four looms with poor-quality materials.

On the first Sunday, Gerda wrote a falsely cheerful letter to her father in Sucha. Weeks passed with no response. On the third Saturday, Mrs. Berger finally called Gerda’s name during mail distribution, but the letter was the one she sent to her father, stamped with a notice that he had moved without a forwarding address. Frozen in shock, Gerda was summoned to Mrs. Berger’s room, where Mrs. Berger bluntly told her that her father was dead and that she would never see her parents again. Gerda sobbed without tears. That night, she began remembering her family only during happy times before the war, imagining her parents kissing her goodnight as she fell into exhausted sleep.

In August, Abek forwarded a letter that Gerda’s father wrote shortly after their separation. Its shaky handwriting asked why she left her mother—a question that haunted her.

After a disastrous day when she accidentally damaged her loom, an act that guards earlier warned would be treated as intentional sabotage and punished accordingly, Gerda received letters from Abek containing photographs, including one of her grandfather, whose story of survival renewed her faith. The next morning, when Meister Zimmer discovered the damage, he only warned her.

Gerda received a despairing first letter from Arthur. She befriended Greta, a girl born out of wedlock who said that she was happier in the camp because everyone was now equal. On Yom Kippur, all the women fasted in respect to their shared religion despite threats from the guards. That night, Lotte tearfully recounted briefly reuniting with her estranged father, who later died in a train wreck on his way to see her again. On Christmas Day 1942, while hearing townspeople celebrating, Gerda became certain that she would never see Arthur again. Abek’s reply to her letter describing her grief over Arthur was uncomprehending.

In January, Gerda fell ill with fever. Frau Kügler forced her and two other sick women to their looms, ordering them to pretend that they were well. This action saved them from Lindner, a notorious SS officer known for sending the sick to Auschwitz. Late in January, a final, barely legible message from Arthur gave Gerda strength to continue.

Abek wrote that his entire family had been deported to Auschwitz and that Gerda was his only reason for living. Feeling obligated, Gerda wrote back falsely professing her love. After sending the letter, she realized that her words were false and daydreamed instead about an unknown, gentle-eyed man. For his birthday, Abek sent a photo with a dedication stating that his life was hers to form, which further disillusioned her.

In spring, Director Keller summoned Gerda to his office and questioned her about a letter from her uncle in Turkey. He granted permission for her to write back but kept the letter. Gerda began receiving packages from Turkey with precious food items, but they always arrived opened and more than half-empty.

On her 19th birthday in May, the other women gave her precious handmade gifts. To thank them, Gerda wrote and staged a play depicting herself and Ilse as old women looking back on Bolkenhain, reminiscing about all their friends and their talents and traits. The performance was well received, and Gerda notes that helping the women forget was the greatest thing she has done.

In June, 50 new women arrived bringing news of deportations and Allied bombings. Mail was abruptly stopped for no apparent reason and then suddenly restored in late July. Abek’s final, pessimistic letter announced his transfer to another camp. When his letters stopped, Gerda realized how much she missed them. In late August 1943, the women learned that they were leaving Bolkenhain.

The women were transferred to subsidiary camps. Gerda and Ilse were assigned to Märzdorf, while Suse, Lotte, Mrs. Berger, and Litzi went to Landeshut. After a long journey, they arrived at Märzdorf and were locked behind a heavy iron door on the sixth floor. A cruel guard named Frau Aufsicht awakened them with a whip. Work was assigned daily; the workers themselves were treated as enslaved.

A week later, a male supervisor propositioned Gerda, offering food in exchange for sexual favors. When she refused, he assigned her the most brutal work: the dreaded flax detail during the day and loading coal at night. Exhausted and in pain, Gerda contemplated suicide by jumping in front of a train, but a sensation in her neck reminded her of her promise to her father never to give up. However, after several more days of double shifts, she told Ilse that she couldn’t continue. When a guard asked for prisoner number 32—which had been Ilse’s number—Ilse pointed to Gerda instead. Gerda was led to the factory courtyard, where Director Keller from Bolkenhain was selecting workers; Ilse followed and threw herself at his feet, begging for her sister. Keller agreed to let both women transfer to Landeshut. That evening, they were reunited with their friends in a converted stable that felt like home. As she fell asleep, Gerda murmured that she was glad she didn’t jump.