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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death.
Coyote gets a call from the bookstore in Maine and finds out that they don’t have her book. The only option left is Pittsburgh. When she suggests going to a thrift store there, Candace speaks up, wondering why there have been so many random thrift store stops. Coyote makes up a story about wanting to find the perfect flannel shirt, and this satisfies Candace for the moment. Along the way, Candace mentions that she is growing tired of travel by bus.
When the bus finally pulls up to the bookstore in Pittsburgh, they find that the store has been permanently closed due to the pandemic. Coyote’s heart drops, but when she sees shelves of books inside, she begins concocting a way to break in. Recalling that Candace complained of being tired, Coyote suggests going bowling and getting a motel; she plans to sneak out later that night and head to the thrift store while everyone is asleep. Salvador hesitantly joins in to help her with her plan.
Coyote calls a cab that drops her and Salvador off at the thrift store. They sneak around to the back, where Coyote climbs onto a dumpster and breaks through a small window to enter the store. However, she lands head-first and breaks her arm when she collides with a desk inside. She then opens the door to let Salvador in. This triggers an alarm, but Coyote is desperate to find the book, so she starts looking while Salvador hides nearby. Moments later, the police and store owner arrive to find Coyote. She explains what she is doing there, and when she tells them that the book belonged to her deceased mother, the owner and police officer reluctantly attempt to help her search for it. After examining the shelves and an extra box, Coyote still doesn’t find the book. She is discouraged that her story doesn’t have a happy ending. The police officer calls Rodeo but agrees not to tell him about the lost book. Rodeo shows up, angry and disappointed, and his frustration doubles when Coyote announces that she also broke her arm.
At the hospital, Coyote gets a cast put on her arm, but she notices that Rodeo is not in the mood to talk to her or hear her side of the story. He sits silently and drives, and Coyote sits silently and fumes about everything that has been bothering her. She dwells on her father’s decision to hide the ashes and on Salvador’s popularity at school, and she is furious that her sisters and mother died and left her to deal with life without them. Coyote decides to take her anger out on Candace, so she accuses the woman of invading this trip, which was dedicated to Coyote’s mother. Candace looks hurt but decides to leave; they drop her and her dog off at a nearby train station. Coyote feels guilty as she walks Candace walk away and sees her father looking defeated and small. She looks at the memory box that she and her sisters made and is reminded of how deeply her family values kindness. Salvador can see that Coyote is feeing discouraged, so he suggests that they head up to the roof of the bus, as this pastime helped him to feel better on their first trip together last year.
Coyote and Salvador head up to the roof, which is known as “the Attic,” and lie down facing the front of the bus. They hold onto a makeshift railing that Rodeo devised for this very purpose, and Coyote bangs on the hood to signal they’re ready to go. They ride along the road, and Coyote admits to feeling that she has ruined everything. She hates her inability to fit in and wishes that she were kinder and more confident. Salvador tells Coyote that she is like a caterpillar waiting to grow into its butterfly wings; he explains that coming into oneself is a lifelong process with no endpoint. They scream out their adoration for one another and laugh as they pretend to be butterflies flying down the road.
Coyote and Salvador work together to fix all the problems that Coyote feels she caused. Her first order of business is to use Rodeo’s phone to call Candace and apologize. Coyote explains everything, including the matter of the lost book, and Candace understands. Candace also agrees to come back and surprise Rodeo, who has no idea what Coyote is doing. Although Wally dislikes driving, Coyote asks him to drive just this once so that Rodeo can sleep and will be unaware of the surprise. Wally agrees, and Rodeo predictably falls asleep. They turn back and pick up Candace, and Coyote reminds Rodeo of his refusal to celebrate or acknowledge their first Christmas after their family’s accident. She states that their shared dynamic of trying to rob one another of future happiness has grown tiresome, and she then surprises Rodeo with Candace’s return.
Coyote finally tells Rodeo about the lost book. He isn’t angry; instead, he blames himself for not taking care of the matter of the ashes much sooner. He sees a photo of the lost book on Coyote’s phone and recognizes it as the exact copy that his wife used to own, and Salvador figures out that the post comes from a bookstore in Ohio. They already happen to be in that state, and Coyote feels a new sense of hope that she may be able to find the book after all.
In this section, Coyote’s crisis arises in the perfect storm consisting of her devotion to her mother and her general tendency to make reckless decisions. When she breaks into the thrift store, she demonstrates her intense loyalty to her mother, but her determination to track down an impossibly lost book also highlights her difficulty to separate her memories of her mother from a physical object that her mother once owned. Her actions also reveal her misunderstanding of what the book truly represents, for she treats it as something essential to her identity, elevating its importance far beyond a symbolic link to her late mother. This distorted perspective becomes more evident when she is caught and confronted, and the author even goes so far as to insert a moment of metacommentary with the adults’ comment, “This ain’t a story, kid. It’s a thrift shop that you broke into” (175). This harsh truth disrupts Coyote’s fanciful narrative and forces her to confront the reality of her choices.
After the break-in fails to deliver the “happy ending” that she feels her story deserves, Coyote experiences extreme emotional fallout that affects every person around her, including her father and Candace. She pushes others away and breaks down emotionally, but when she begins to consider the consequences of her actions, she finally makes progress in Gaining Perspective With Maturity. Specifically, her moment of reflection on the memory box inspires her to think of how her sister viewed her, reminding Coyote of the values she associates with her younger self. As she begins to question whether she is still the “kind” person that her late siblings remember, she undergoes significant emotional growth and begins to process her memories differently. Instead of avoiding the past, she reflects, “I remembered. And I missed. And I loved” (187). At this point, she understands that overcoming grief does not require her to forsake the family members that she has lost, and that “moving on doesn’t have to mean forgetting” (200).
The break-in scene marks both a structural peak in the plot as well as a collapse. This is Coyote’s most extreme action to date, but it results in failure, leaving her with no definitive resolution to her inner turmoil. To match her distress, the narrative pacing of the break-in becomes increasingly intense until the owner and police discover her, introducing the emotional and legal consequences of her ill-advised actions. The sting of Coyote’s failure builds until the climactic emotional release in Chapter 18, when she releases her anger about everything she resents in her life. This sequence in Chapter 18 functions emphasizes her emotional overload, using the repeated phrase “mad that” to enumerate Coyote’s grievances. Her anger is aimed in multiple directions, landing on her father, Candace, her friends, and even on her mother. As she admits, she is “[m]ad at [her] mom. For dying. For leaving [her] all this mess” (180). However, Coyote’s emotional overload contrasts with Rodeo’s response, because his realization that the book is still traceable restores forward movement to the story, shifting the narrative away from defeat and back into the realm of possibility.
As Coyote focuses on Gaining Perspective With Maturity, this idea is reinforced through Salvador’s reflection that people are always a “work in progress” (195). To illustrate his point, he creates a metaphor comparing Coyote to a caterpillar that is learning to become a butterfly. This image is linked to the novel’s other mentions of transformation, as well as to the scene in which the two friends metaphorically “fly” as they glory in the views from the top of the moving bus. This moment symbolizes their ongoing emotional development, dramatizing Coyote’s realization that “maybe we should be done with losing for a while. Maybe it’s time to do some finding” (210). This inner decision indicates her new determination to create a healthier identity based on healing.



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