One of the central themes in Coyote Lost and Found is that growing up requires learning how to let go. This includes physical objects, but also emotional dependencies and naive perspectives. Coyote begins the novel holding tightly to her mother’s ashes, fixated on the idea that she must discover and honor her mother’s final wishes as to where those ashes should be scattered. As she pursues this quest, her belief that she must follow her mother’s wishes at any cost actually reflects her resistance to change and emotional growth. As the story progresses, however, she gradually learns that the preservation of love does not depend on any particular object or action.

Coyote’s relationships illustrate her own growing maturity, particularly when she reflects on the changes in her friend Salvador, who has become more independent and easily makes friends at school. Chagrined by these changes, Coyote wryly notes, “Growing up is funny because you’re just going along, being a kid and feeling like a kid and acting like a kid and then one day you’ve got a friend with a mustache” (71). At first, Coyote resists the shifts in her friend’s life, fearing that she might be replaced or become irrelevant to him. Over time, however, she feels strengthened by his reassurances and learns that just because relationships change, they do not have to vanish entirely. In a parallel life lesson, Rodeo’s relationship with Candace forces Coyote to confront the reality that her father also deserves to build a life beyond their shared grief.

The wisdom of this theme is most prominently displayed in the eventual scattering of the ashes. At first, Coyote struggles with the idea of releasing them, and she fears that letting go of them will require her to somehow forget everything that her mother has meant to her. However, with the help of her friends and family, she comes to realize that her mother’s presence is not contained within the ashes. In this healthier light, the act of scattering the ashes becomes a moment of acceptance that connects Coyote to those around her and teaches her that growing up often involves rethinking her beliefs on how best to stay connected with those she loves.

On a deeper level, Coyote reflects on her memories of her mother and begins to understand that they can exist alongside her present life without overshadowing her every thought and action. This improvement in her emotional balance reflects her new willingness to recontextualize the most difficult moments of her life, and the novel uses these events to suggest that people are constantly evolving into the truest versions of themselves. Salvador explains this idea with his metaphor comparing Coyote to a caterpillar that is trying to become a butterfly. As Coyote comes to define herself by what she is willing to accept and embrace, she learns to let go of her anguish over what she lost. Her journey is therefore part of an ongoing process of adapting to the present while honoring the past.