Li defines her writing of this book as a “placeholder” for James. Explore the multiple functions of this concept. How does the memoir’s analytical method and rejection of emotional resolution embody the idea of a placeholder, and how does this challenge traditional purposes of memoir writing?

The author repeatedly rejects conventional narratives of grief and healing. Analyze how the memoir’s structure reflects this rejection of a traditional “recovery” arc.

Discuss how Li’s commitment to radical acceptance is enacted through her precise and unsentimental use of language. Point to and discuss specific moments in the text that support your analysis.

Li distinguishes between “love” and “care” in Chapter 12. What is the significance of this distinction, and how does it challenge common assumptions about family relationships and grief? Identify and discuss one theme this relates to in your analysis.

Li mentions the story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu in the memoir. Read and research this story, then discuss how this allusion illuminates the relationship between Vincent and James.

Li engages with writers like Albert Camus and William Shakespeare not for emotional comfort but for intellectual frameworks. Analyze how this intertextual dialogue allows her to construct a language for extreme suffering. In what ways does her use of the literary canon subvert its traditional role as a source of consolation?

How does this memoir explore the tension between free will and parental responsibility? Discuss what Li’s willingness to explore this tension reveals about her.

Li repeatedly argues that narratives can distort reality. Yet she is writing a memoir—a narrative. How does the memoir grapple with this apparent contradiction?