Dong rushes to find Corky in the garage but is taunted and blocked by the Lady Dominators and held down by the garage’s gremlins. Zev, an official of the Borant Corporation and frequently an announcer in the games, sends the message that Carl and Donut must make a mandatory media appearance before the next heat. Lying on the garage floor, Carl finds a note from a gremlin. As Zev makes a dungeon-wide announcement about the upcoming 11th floor, “A Parade of Horribles,” the note reveals itself to be from Akuma, the leader of the War Mage Rebellion (see series context). Akuma proposes an alliance, asking Carl to kill two teams in the next heat and then meet him alone to discuss escaping to a place called the Pineapple Cabaret.

Carl is furious, recognizing Akuma as the war mage who killed his ally Stalwart and stole the Gate of the Feral Gods during Faction Wars. Outside, Dong mysteriously sickens whenever he is near the Lady Dominators’ garage, collapsing in their driveway. Genesis and Rapture taunt him from inside. A new quest appears for Carl and Donut: “Half a prayer, half a song.” The quest reveals that to save Corcunda from being eliminated in the races, they must find a fleshmancer and reunite his two halves. The reward for completing this quest is two stand-ins of their choosing summoned to the arena on the 11th floor, with the stand-ins able to be anyone within the AI’s sphere of influence.

While the team prepares for the next race, Carl and Donut open their loot boxes in the safe room. Carl receives several disturbing achievements related to his time inside the kangaroo boss, including one for entering its pouch and another for touching its nipple. He also receives a Platinum Skill Potion, which expands his item hotlist and unlocks a new “Contingency” skill, allowing him to automate item usage based on set conditions. Mordecai suddenly appears and uses his “Reaper Gaze” ability to instantly kill Rend. The pet Tummy Acher immediately resurrects, now stronger but with a new, randomly assigned weakness to potatoes.

Rend resurrects, retaining his memories due to it being his sixth death. Worried about his new potato weakness and the danger from Mordecai, Carl decides to keep Rend in his pet carrier for safety. Rosetta and Tipid return from town, bringing back the only available mercenaries: a pair of level 25 Jikininki ghouls, the same undead creatures that served as janitors on the Iron Tangle, the fourth floor of the dungeon, appearing in Book 3 of the series.

Carl and Donut are teleported to a production facility for a mandatory media appearance on a show called Plenty of Plenty. They are met by Lexis, an ex-production assistant of a show hosted by former crawler Odette (a character featuring in previous books). Lexis reveals that the Open Intellect Action Network (OIAN), the crawlers’ allies from Faction Wars, has used the AI’s enhanced weaponry to seize control of all ships in the system. She provides a brief and tense update on Katia, Carl’s ally, stating that a mysterious “third party” has appeared and is protecting the kinder facility on Earth. Before she can elaborate, Lexis’s datapad beeps, and a look of terror crosses her face. She quickly briefs Carl and Donut about a change in the show, explaining it is an “interlocution” with the caprid leadership.

The show begins with Carl and Donut seated in the center of a dark studio, surrounded by shadowy caprid (goatlike) figures. The host, Botis, sentences Carl and Donut to death, then allows them to appeal. They are judged by individual caprids; if deemed worthy, their death sentence is stayed, and they can ask a question. During the interview, Orren and Prime Minister Victory (respectively, a liaison for the syndicate, and its top official( contact Carl through his heads-up display (HUD), revealing that unsponsored gods have escaped the dungeon and are using the caprids’ travel system, the Plenty Tunnels, to spread. The gods are not in control of the AI running the game and may even escape the dungeon. They urge Carl to ask the caprids a specific, carefully worded question about the tunnels’ integrity, so they can get more information on the movement of the gods. Instead, Carl the goat bluntly if the public watching the dungeon knows that the gods are loose and that their civilization is in danger.

Carl’s revelation sends the caprids into a panicked stampede. The matriarch of the Plenty, Gamori, remains seated and judges Carl unworthy for his impulsiveness. Suddenly, her son, Liaison Harbinger, teleports into the studio armed with a pulse rifle. He confronts his mother for not warning their people of the danger. He declares that exertion—a caprid expression of joy and comfort—is how he will now protect the herd, and he raises the gun at Carl.

Before Harbinger can fire, the AI intervenes, causing him to violently explode and cover everyone in gore. Lexis grimly notes that the gruesome on-air death has resulted in the show’s highest-ever viewer ratings. Carl and Donut are teleported back to their garage, where they clean up and prepare for the next race. Since Carl and Donut are ineligible to drive (the rules are drivers must rotate through heats), the stripper Gluteus Maxx is chosen because he performed best at Mario Kart among the strippers. Moments before the race, Gluteus reveals he has taken powerful performance-enhancing drugs that allow him to “taste time.”

The third heat begins on a steep, 30-kilometer downhill track. The course is swarming with thousands of “Sugar Hermits,” mobs of small, brain-eating creatures that wear colorful skulls as shells. Gluteus, high on drugs, floors the accelerator, driving with abandon. The team’s vehicle is protected by a temporary invulnerability shield for the first ninety seconds. The team deploys its two ghoul mercenaries in cages on either side of the truck to throw potions. Carl launches “Denial of Service” missiles at Team Sparkles and One Fine Pig, covering their vehicles in a thick, vision-obscuring slime.

Donut unleashes a massive Wall of Fire, incinerating tens of thousands of Sugar Hermits. The finish line is blocked by the colossal skull of a kaiju named Tem. The team uses spells, which create hardened foam barriers, to fend off subsequent waves of hermits. As more skulls rain from the sky, one of the ghoul mercenaries is killed. Donut casts Temporary Macaroni, creating a tunnel of giant pasta to offer them safe passage as they advance.

Inside the pasta tunnel, the second ghoul mercenary is killed. An attacking hermit latches onto Donut’s face but is violently ripped off by her sentient throne chair, Dorota. As they exit the tunnel, they find Gluteus has passed out at the wheel. Donut works the pedals while Carl climbs onto the hood to steer from the outside. Just as they are about to reach the finish line, Team Sparkles fires its cannon at them. Carl swerves in response, the truck flips and spins through the air, and during the spin Carl’s feet make contact with the kaiju skull, which explodes.

In a massive, spinning wreck, the vehicles of Carl’s team, the Lady Dominators, and Team Sparkles all careen across the finish line at the same time. The kangaroo suit is flayed from Carl’s body as he slides across the pavement, and he suffers multiple broken bones before his healing contingencies activate. Miraculously, most of the racers survive the crash. The final results are announced: The Wild Hunt and The Jugglers have been eliminated. Carl’s team has placed first.

After the chaotic finish, the team learns the next race is a jungle track with multiple paths. They rest briefly in their garage. Rosetta and Tipid return from town with a new, three-person mercenary squad called Team Helix: Olga, a toad; Finley, a badger; and Quemada, a fire fairy. Upon seeing Carl’s shrine to the god Emberus, Quemada, a fellow worshipper, triples their fee, which Carl agrees to pay.

The group heads into Hungry Eyes Village. As they walk, the world freezes, and Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, appears to Carl. A random effect from Eris’s presence is announced: A temporary magical effect on someone nearby will become permanent.

Eris is accompanied by a small, robotic version of a Jesus effigy carrying an Uzi gun. Eris tells Carl he must work with Akuma, as the war mage truly knows a way to access the Pineapple Cabaret—a secret refuge for NPCs. She offers to protect Carl from Emberus’s spite and to kill Emberus, his brother (Hellik), and her half-brother (possibly Taranis), all in exchange for Carl’s worship. The only catch is Carl’s worship has to be true, rather than a pose. 

Eris produces a five-sided coin to determine the course of the future. The sides of the coin are engraved with options such as Carl is defeated, and most of his friends are dead. Eris asks a panicked Carl to call the coin as Uzi Jesus flips it. Carl grabs the coin mid-air, randomly landing on the fifth side, which is an unknown option. The coin dissolves in Carl’s hand, leaving behind a spinning tattoo. A delighted Eris departs.

After Eris vanishes, the world unfreezes. Her permanent effect activates on Imani, whose powerful but temporary legendary card summon, Jacobus the Reverse Tooth Fairy, is now permanently active.

Following Akuma’s instructions, the group enters the Chicken and Waffles and Upgrades diner. They find a dead imp on the counter with a note from Akuma chastising Carl for not coming alone. Carl hops the counter, rips a poster off the wall to reveal a secret door, deactivates and loots the disintegration trap attached to the door itself, and opens it.

Akuma is waiting in the storeroom. Before he can speak, Donut casts a Mute spell on him, and Elle, seeking revenge for their previous encounter during Faction Wars, freezes and shatters one of his testicles. To force him to cooperate, Imani places Akuma inside an anti-magic shield, a state that is lethal to war mages and slowly drains his health.

Under duress, Akuma explains that the dungeon’s systems are failing and that NPCs are “awakening” to their reality. He reveals that two legendary former crawlers, Herot and Menerva, built a secret pocket dimension called the Pineapple Cabaret on the forgotten seventeenth floor as a refuge for NPCs. However, the Cabaret has been overrun by monsters in their absence. Akuma admits his small band of war mages needs the crawlers’ help to reclaim it. He also confesses that his request for Carl to kill two teams was designed so the system would then pit Carl against a team of his friends, leaving him no choice but to help the war mages. Enraged, Carl punches Akuma in the face.

After leaving Akuma, the group goes to the Lollipop karaoke bar. Tipid explains that the entrance to the hidden performance guild—where Corcunda’s other half, Porky, likely works—is accessed through the karaoke system. To enter, a person must select one of several secretly marked songs and sing well enough to keep a magical gauge in the green for the entire performance. 

Donut attempts to sing a song to open the guild entrance, but her performance is terrible, and the gauge never leaves the red. Carl communicates to Mordecai that they will need a Bard (voice-enhancing) potion to enter the guild. Mordecai tells him Tipid is working on the potion, but it will only be ready after the next heat.

The team heads to the starting line for the fourth heat. Their truck has been upgraded with a stabilizing gyro and a new electrified shield. The race will take place in a jungle with toxic air, requiring a “survival containment” bubble around their vehicle. Their newest opponent is revealed: Osvaldo, a hostile rival crawler from a previous floor, riding a six-legged beast called a Slaughter Gnu.

Carl recalls that in Book 6, Osvaldo looted a divine artifact called the memorial crystal of the goddess Apito, which has now passed on to Prepotente (Carl’s ally, a goat-like creature). Since memorial crystals endow each bearer with a task, Carl deduces that Osvaldo too, like Prepotente, is on a quest. 

Carl messages Osvaldo not to eliminate too many teams, but Osvaldo tells Carl he makes no such promises. Donut lashes out at Osvaldo, and he cuts off the Royal Court.

Dr. Metcalf outlines the best possible path through the jungle: a straight drive till they veer off before a temple. They will encounter a river, but this should be shallow enough to navigate. Carl agrees and reaches out once again to Carl to gain more intel about the crystals. Osvaldo tells Carl he has another crystal, from the goddess Ysalte, which is why he gifted one crystal to Prepotente. Osvaldo has a grudge against Ysalte.

As the race begins and the Royal Court team drives, their fire fairy mercenary, Quemada, has a full-blown existential crisis after hearing Akuma’s revelations about the nature of NPCs. The mercenary badger Fin pokes Quemada with one of his quills, rendering her temporarily unconscious.

The team meet the antagonists of this heat: scores of pale, red-haired, “ginger” cannibals headed by a North and a South chieftain. The cannibals carry spears and attack the truck, some hurling themselves at the vehicle’s shield and exploding. Donut uses her powerful Astral Paw spell to clear the path. The Royal Court manages to forge ahead till they run across the southern chieftain, who is named Great Rusty. Rusty’s soul-draining spell incapacitates their Grulke driver, Olga. Donut kills the boss instantly. Though Olga’s soul is returned, she is left in a catatonic state. Killing the boss triggers a new mandatory quest for the heat: They must now find and kill Maurice, the chieftain of the rival northern tribe, before they can finish the race.

The team reaches the shallow river and crosses it by inflating the tires of their truck, to arrive at the designated pit stop in the lost city of Upano. There, they learn that the race’s second half will shuffle the heats and tracks. Carl’s team is reassigned from the jungle to a track called “Satan’s Water Park.” They limp to the garage, where Jamal the hammerhead shark, an air-breathing shark from previous books, reveals he has been stuck to the ceiling for hours due to a fear of heights. Donut coaxes him down. 

Finley tells Carl that he is going into town to visit a temple, taking Olga the toad and Quesalda the fire-fairy with him, as he does not want to leave them alone, calling them his family. Carl is touched by Finley’s statement. Just as Finley exits the garage, the APV of One Fine Pig rams into him, killing all three mercenaries instantly.

An enraged Carl sprints out, storming into the garage of One Fine Pig. However, the Tigrans are missing. Donut calls Carl back, telling him that Penelope—who is a non-sentient animal—is innocent and shouldn’t bear the brunt of the crime of the Tigrans. Carl cools down but is intent on revenge for the deaths of Finley, Olga, and Quesalda.

Carl whispers his secret revenge plan to Donut. As the Tigrans reenter their truck, Donut casts an All Eyes on Me spell, enabling her to captivate audiences with her speech. She speaks at length about the depiction of pigs in popular culture; Nico and Dario stare at her, distracted. Meanwhile, Carl plants silent disintegration traps in the truck, programmed to activate only when stepped on by the Tigrans, ensuring Penelope the pig would be safe. 

Carl and Penelope leave One Fine Pig’s garage and run into Elle and Imani, who had gone to the city to collect a physical potion from former crawler Louis. The potion is a stinky, white liquid in a bucket, and the team name it “the splooge.” Drinking the potion manually will endow the drinker with immense protection against most hostile environments.

Zev announces that the second half of the race is to begin soon. Carl’s traps activate when the two Tigran racers exit their vehicle, killing them both and eliminating their team. This means only five teams remain in the Heat, with Florin’s team on the same waterpark track as Carl. Carl tells Florin he needs their help eliminating Team Sparkles.

To continue the race, Donut uses her Second Chance spell to resurrect the headless corpse of their mercenary, Olga, to drive the truck. They learn that the water park’s country boss is a kaiju-sized hedgehog named Satan, who provides obnoxious commentary from his perch at the end of the track. Donut, who lost a kitten beauty contest to a hedgehog years ago, is incensed. Olga’s resurrected corpse drives erratically through the water park’s tube-slides.

An entry from Carl’s spellbook—Book of Boom—is a first-person account by Mehmet, a human helped by Carl’s actions in the dungeon. Mehmet is separated from his daughters Azra and Yaya, who are possibly in the surface kinder facility. Requesting Carl to find his daughters, Mehmet gifts him a spell called Gutter Bumper.

In the dungeon, the Royal Court is being bombarded by mobs of rodent-like creatures as they traverse the waterpark’s treacherous water tubes, getting soaked. The team uses the truck’s mechanical spider legs to climb a high wall, bypassing a major trap that would have cost them an hour. During the maneuver, the undead Olga corpse falls out of the driver’s side door.

The resurrected corpse of a camel killed earlier—from One Fine Pig’s crew—takes the wheel. To deal with the “River of Sloth” section of the waterpark, Donut freezes the entire river with her Ice Flick spell, further enhanced by Carl’s Gutter Bumper spell from Mehmet. The Royal Court drag a tangle of chained weapons behind the truck, shredding hundreds of gingers who were floating in inner tubes and killing the quest boss, Maurice.

As they approach the finish line, Satan the hedgehog, bored, headbutts a giant loop-de-loop structure, sending it crashing down and flinging Florin’s and Team Sparkles’s vehicles into the air. Lucienne, the rodent driver for Team Sparkles, is affected by a spell Donut had cast earlier to summon all nearby rodents. She is drawn to their truck, landing on the hood and pummeling the windshield. As they cross the finish line, the track’s barrier pushes Lucienne through the glass, causing her to explode inside the cab. Carl’s team wins the heat.

After winning the race, Carl recovers from being splattered with Lucienne’s remains. He is confronted by Lucia, the teenage crawler, who is possessed by a new entity named Chalchiuhtlicue. The Scavenger’s Daughter’s patch blinks in the entity’s presence, unsure of its nature. The entity delivers a cryptic message, stating the dungeon is no longer a game and that all trapped beings are gathering on the 12th floor for “the Ascendency”. The presence then recedes, and a different personality named Azra emerges. Azra recognizes a spell Carl used as one from her father, Mehmet, the bowling alley owner. Carl confirms this and passes on to Azra her father’s message of love, causing Azra (in Lucia’s body) to become overwhelmed and flee. Carl lets Lucia be for now.

Details for the next race are released, the a hazardous industrial track of which passes through a gasworks factory, a steel mill, and a doll workshop. The track will have vertical climbs and a new “containment theft” rule in which racers will lose their containment if they touch their fellow racers’ vehicles for too long. Carl then reads messages from Tran, who survived his heat despite Li Na casting a dread spell that caused many other crawlers to kill each other. Finally, the official results confirm Carl’s team placed first.