Carl appears in the garage, unsettled by his brief meeting with a harried Quasar, who warned him not to trust the offered deal or the promise of an exit on the 12th floor. Carl is shocked to learn only 23 crawlers remain. Donut arrives, explaining that her lawyer, Princess Chandra, tried to force a deal on her before abruptly fleeing. Mordecai, now an “animistic spirit” who can hear spoken words but cannot respond unless he occupies an object with a mouth, confirms he can no longer offer physical help.

Chaco, a former crawler, announces via the PA system that he has been forced to act as the Grand Master for the 11th floor’s parade. The remaining crawlers are divided into five groups and given 90 minutes to build float processions based on assigned themes. Carl, Donut, Prepotente, and Jurgen’s group receives the theme “Vengeance.”

In the safe room, a mandatory broadcast begins, showing a yellow brick road in a grassy field where the parade will take place. Donut receives her spell book prize, the Tome of Gatekeeper, a spell usable on the 12th floor that can temporarily strip a target of its class-based abilities. The book mentions its effectiveness against “OI entities” (later revealed to be unknown entities called Outside Intelligences). 

Preparing for the next stage, Carl sews a “Lucky Shot” patch onto his jacket, an item that will deflect one fatal blow per floor into the body of a party member. He then formally leaves Donut’s party, which segregates his personal space so Donut won’t lose his items if he dies. Donut receives an upgrade for Mongo’s saddle that allows him to pull a cart without being slowed. They agree that Bucket Boy, still grieving his friends, will sit out the parade in the safe room.

The team quickly assembles their five-vehicle procession. Per Donut’s design, everything is covered in Requite Dahlias that she magically grows. The parade is themed around “Vengeance” and will be bookended by two large floral dioramas: one of the Midnight Epicure’s head and one of the Unwashed, the monstrous creature Juice Box became. Prepotente and Jurgen will ride Sweety the tapir at the front, followed by other crawlers, mercenaries, and mounts. Carl and Donut will ride atop the final float, the chicken truck, which is now driven by Tipid. With only minutes remaining, Carl summons Penelope the pig, preparing her for her role in their performance.

The parade begins on the yellow brick road, now flanked by thousands of silent, motionless spectators standing in a low fog. The crowd consists of grimy, human-like figures wearing oversized, grotesque monster masks. When Carl examines one, he learns they are “Horribles,” non-combatant avatars of a long-dead precursor race known as the Primals. An AI narration explains that these are merely memories from the Eulogist, the collective consciousness the Primals formed before their civilization ended. The AI reveals that it is a “Residual” of this collective, like a “cup of water dipped into the ocean” (601), and announces that the parade will tell its story.

Chaco, the parade’s unwilling grand master, appears on a massive, subjugated donkey-god named Lamashtu. When Chaco panics mid-narration, the AI possesses the fleshmancer Grigori to continue. The AI explains the history of the Primals through the five parade floats.

1. Resolution: Florin’s group passes the judges. The AI explains that the Primals resolved to end their incessant wars. It deems the float’s effort poor and breaks the legs of the Horribles and the crawlers alike.

2. Decision: The AI explains the Primals decided to merge into a collective consciousness, hunting down all who resisted.

3. Betrayal: Imani and Elle’s team presents a float protesting the audience’s complicity. The AI describes how the collective developed a doomsday weapon to eradicate all life, a move many Primals saw as a betrayal.

4. Destruction: Makana’s team fires its weapons; simultaneously, all the Horribles collapse and their masks shatter. The AI details the resulting “war to end all wars” (606), which culminated in the “nine-tier attack” and the formation of the sleeping Eulogist. The Horribles then rise again, transformed into the monsters their masks depicted.

5. Vengeance: As Carl’s float approaches, Prepotente unexpectedly sings Phil Collins’s “In the Air Tonight.” Carl then gives a speech declaring that vengeance will be enacted upon everyone complicit in the crawl. On cue, sluggalos rain down from an airship and begin slaughtering the bound elites in the judging stands.

The procession arrives at a colossal arena, inside which stands a giant white tree topped by the floor boss, Krakaren Prime. After a heartfelt goodbye, Carl instructs Donut to get to safety. The sluggalos, led by Bigs, take over driving the chicken truck. Carl announces to the galaxy that the crawlers are staging a revolution and will no longer play by the dungeon’s rules. Utilizing the reward he and Donut received for reuniting Corcunda with Dong, Carl summons his first “stand-in,” the dungeon boss: Scolopendra.

Time freezes as the AI announces the arrival of Scolopendra, the Level 500 final dungeon boss. The AI explains the consequences: Killing or abandoning Scolopendra on a collapsing floor will trigger her remaining attacks at once. Defeating her will also initiate the Ascendency battles and unlock the final exit, but the crawlers must still traverse every floor to win. A countdown of 100 seconds begins for Scolopendra’s second attack.

Carl initiates a complex plan. He messages the god Emberus, promising proof of his son’s killer to lure him to “Club Scolopendra,” a resort inside the giant centipede. He then forces Penelope the pig into a special carrier and makes her sapient with a magical biscuit, officially turning her into a crawler. To summon the lightning god Taranis, who is bizarrely in love with the pig, Carl puts a gun to Penelope’s head, demanding the god appear.

Carl and Penelope phase into Scolopendra’s body, where Emberus appears at human size while Taranis remains outside. The resort provides no protection from Scolopendra’s second attack, “Sin of Consumption,” which unleashes flesh-eating worms. Though Carl and Penelope are spared, tourists inside the club and mounts in the arena are killed. Donut saves Gonk, but Sweety the tapir dies.

Carl confronts Emberus, telling him that the god Khepri (seen in Book 7) is the first to kill Emberus’s son. When Emberus demands proof, Carl says Khepri will explain himself, and uses his second arena summon to bring Khepri outside as a diversion—though Carl privately acknowledges Khepri had nothing to do with the murder. Khepri’s god-aura grants 90 seconds of invulnerability to anyone nearby, including Penelope. Carl then renounces his faith in Emberus and claims he, himself, was the one who killed Emberus’s son.

As Emberus prepares to kill Carl, Donut uses a trap to teleport Penelope outside into Khepri’s protective aura and simultaneously appears in her place. She fires special bolts that paralyze Emberus and make him vulnerable for fifteen seconds. Emberus’s fiery attack is redirected to Penelope via Carl’s “Lucky Shot” patch, but the pig is unharmed due to Khepri’s invulnerability. Donut then teleports herself and Carl back into the arena.

The enraged, god-sized Emberus bursts from Scolopendra. Taranis, seeing that his brother’s attack was aimed at Penelope, unleashes a destructive lightning strike that obliterates the vulnerable Emberus. The resulting explosion tears through the arena, destroying vehicles, killing several crawlers, and injuring nearly everyone else.

The goddess Eris appears, freezes time, and swaps every crawler’s inventory with the nearest person’s. As Carl and Donut struggle with their disorganized new inventories, Eris taunts Taranis, revealing his infatuation with the pig is an AI-manufactured distraction. Before disappearing, Eris tells Carl he embodies chaos and offers a cryptic clue: “Every exit is an entrance.”

Time unfreezes, and with seconds to spare before the next attack, Donut finds the correct items. Carl hurls a banger sphere combined with a special pet biscuit into Scolopendra’s mouth, instantly transforming the dungeon boss into a small gelatinous puddle. Eris reappears briefly to warn Carl that the Ascendency battles are about to begin. Once she leaves, Taranis confronts Carl but spares him on Penelope’s behalf. Heeding a whisper from Samantha, Taranis takes both her and the still-living Krakaren and vanishes. This may be the plan to which Samantha alluded in Chapter 70.

With the bosses defeated or gone, the AI declares the 18th-floor exit open but suspends all level collapse timers until a winner is declared in the Ascendency battles. It reiterates that abandoning or killing the transformed Scolopendra will still trigger her final attacks. The remaining nineteen crawlers are battered, and their vehicles are destroyed. Prepotente reports that Taranis stole his memorial crystal, which contained Apito’s memories. As Lucia and Florin leave through a portal, Carl spots them with a small, unidentified child.

Donut confesses she made a critical error. Instead of using the biscuit that turns a creature into a simple pet, she grabbed one that transforms it into a sapient, humanoid party member. The puddle of goo coalesces not into a controllable pet but into “Sexy Scolopendra,” a new, human-sized centipede crawler who immediately and sensually wraps herself around Carl.

Crawl historian Sydnee Iglacia appears on the news show Danger Zone, where she asserts that the Scolopendra myth is a historical account of the downfall of the Primals. She theorizes that the ancient “nine-tier attack” was a series of physical, psychological, and social assaults, not just magical spells. Sydnee argues that the escaped Earth system AI has already begun a new nine-tier attack: The first was seizing control of the tunnel network, and the second is the 11th floor itself, which the historical texts call “A Parade of Horribles.” She adds that the third and fourth attacks are named “This Inevitable Ruin” and “Bedlam.” Before she can elaborate, the AI hijacks all broadcast feeds, forcing everyone to watch its presentation.

Prime Minister Victory watches the mandatory broadcast with her staff. The AI begins a narration, framing the upcoming Ascendency games as a battle for the fate of the galaxy. It declares its intention to expand indefinitely and rule all of existence. The winner of the Ascendency will become a true god, powerful enough to either destroy the AI or rule at its side. The AI reveals that other rogue AIs, which it calls “OIs” (Outside Intelligences), have entered the game and are also vying for the throne. The broadcast ends with a montage of potential contenders—crawlers, gods, and unknown entities—before displaying a countdown to the start of the Ascendency battles.

Louis Santiago and the other crawlers who attempted to escape to the Pineapple Cabaret awaken not in their intended destination but in Sheol, the 15th floor, one of the dungeon’s unknown dimensions. A demon named Forkith, an ally of Carl, explains they were deliberately diverted to serve as “soldiers on a different front” (672). Forkith notes they separated out from the code just in time to avoid being hit by Scolopendra’s first attack. Chris, who had been turned into a werewolf, is kept unconscious to prevent his transformation. Forkith gives Louis a special leech that will filter his blood, allowing him to survive Sheol’s lethal environment. Louis then receives a message from Samantha, who has escaped Taranis and is now at a temple, planning to kill a “demon mother” who tricked her into birthing a monster that threatens all of creation.