The Same Backward as Forward

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

47 pages 1-hour read

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

The Same Backward as Forward

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2025

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Part 1, Chapter 30-EpilogueChapter Summaries & Analyses

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of illness, death, addiction, suicidal ideation, and substance use.

Part 1: “Hannah”

Part 1, Chapter 30 Summary

Hannah cries in the shower and thinks about her mother, her sister, and her place among it all. When she gets to the shack, Toby can tell that she’s been crying. She decides to admit that she had a sister whom she lost but says nothing more. Instead, Hannah demands that Toby walk to the lighthouse without help.


While there, Toby confesses that he sometimes feels like he and Hannah led similar lives but that Hannah sets herself apart through her selflessness. Hannah still wants to hate Toby, but when he moves close to her, she kisses him, and soon they’re caught up in an intense embrace. All the while, Hannah tries to remind herself that she hates him.

Part 1, Chapter 31 Summary

Hannah finds herself in a dream with Toby curled up beside her. A vision of Kaylie appears, and this time Hannah dances with her. Kaylie tells Hannah to live without regret and says that her death was an accident. She adds that Toby seems to see Hannah for who she is and helps her to feel again. Kaylie asks Hannah to promise to dance more and then disappears.

Part 1, Chapter 32 Summary

Hannah awakens in the lighthouse with Toby beside her. She walks outside but finds it utterly quiet and lifeless. Toby finds Hannah and tries to comfort her, but she leaves for work and tells Toby to head back to the shack.

Part 1, Chapter 33 Summary

Hannah decides that she wants to leave town without Toby but finds herself going back to him for another night. When she awakens, she finds him on the beach below, drawing the alphabet. Hannah joins Toby and reveals that she knows the answer to the Hangman riddle is “uncopyrightable.” When Hannah mentions the poem by William Blake, something stirs in Toby, and he recalls the initials S and Z, likely belonging to his two sisters.


When Toby asks about Hannah’s family, she admits that her family is dangerous and that they have to be careful about how and when Toby leaves. They dance together in the moonlight and kiss, and Hannah wonders what she’s getting into.

Part 1, Chapter 34 Summary

Hannah can see that Toby will soon be healthy enough to leave the lighthouse and initially plans to part ways with him then. However, as she and Toby play various games to pass the time, they fall deeper and deeper into their romance.

Part 1, Chapter 35 Summary

Hannah and Toby play a game called Don’t Look Down where they pretend to be walking on very high, dangerous places. Hannah looks out to sea; Toby sees a storm coming and tells Hannah that she is her own storm. They eventually get caught in the rain and return to the lighthouse, where Toby strips Hannah of her clothes and helps her warm up.

Part 1, Chapter 36 Summary

Hannah and Toby return to the shack in the morning. Jackson refuses to hear anything about their relationship. He does ask Hannah why she’s taking such a risk, but Hannah cannot explain her need to feel alive and how Toby fulfills it.

Part 1, Chapter 37 Summary

Hannah returns to her apartment one last time to gather her belongings and is confronted by her cousin Rory, who shows up unannounced. He declares that the family has been watching the apartment and thought she left town. Hannah refuses to tell him anything, and he eventually leaves, but Hannah now knows that she and Toby have to leave tonight.


Hannah returns to the shack and finds Toby at the lighthouse. She tells him that they have to leave, but Toby would rather kiss, and before long, they knock over a candle. The resulting fire, though small, causes Toby to remember the fire he set and how Kaylie died. Hannah refers to him by his real name, and it becomes clear to Toby that she knew all along. He runs out to the cliff’s edge to jump, but Kaylie stops him and makes him promise to live. She tells him that she loves him and always will, suggesting that they start a new life somewhere else.

Part 1, Chapter 38 Summary

Toby admits that he cannot go with Hannah because it would risk both of their lives. Instead, he plans to disappear alone, despite Hannah’s protests. He admits that his memories have returned and reveals that he was adopted by the Hawthornes after they murdered his father, a crime boss named William Blake. Toby explains that his family tree is poison and that he cannot risk Hannah being part of that.

Part 1, Chapter 39 Summary

When Hannah wakes up, Toby is gone. She finds a letter in his place; it details his fears of the family hurting her and states that Hannah was the only person to ever really know or understand him. Hannah thinks about all she knows about Toby, from his perceptiveness to his love of word puzzles. She knows that they love each other. Before leaving, Hannah says goodbye to Jackson, who hands her money and tells her to change her name.

Part 1, Chapter 40 Summary

Three months later, Hannah is living in Connecticut and working as a waiter. She changed her name to Sarah and is pregnant with a child. Though it is not Toby’s, she sees the child as the future she and Toby could have had together and wishes Toby could be part of it. On the night she gives birth, a storm hits, and Hannah cannot reach a hospital or emergency line. Toby appears and helps her until an ambulance arrives. He tells her how much he loves her and then leaves again.

Part 1, Chapter 41 Summary

Toby appears again at the hospital, long enough to help Hannah name her daughter Avery Kylie Grambs (after her biological father). Toby already sees the baby as his own but admits that he cannot be with her or Hannah as long as his father is looking for him. He leaves Hannah with a pile of postcards he has been writing for her.

Part 1, Epilogue Summary

Eighteen months later, Hannah is raising her daughter alone. Toby’s adoptive mother appears at the diner one day and warns that his father will find Hannah soon. Hannah returns home with a sense of fear that she didn’t have before but vows to protect her daughter.

Part 1, Chapter 30-Epilogue Analysis

The setting in these chapters—the moonlit lighthouse and oceanside—creates a dreamlike atmosphere that recalls the fairy-tale motif as the relationship between Hannah and Toby deepens, implying that they might have a happy ending after all. Certainly, the relationship facilitates their character development. By being honest with Toby, Hannah begins to forgive herself, as evidenced by the dream of Kaylie in which Hannah’s promise to live out Kaylie’s values becomes permission to move on. In a further demonstration of Self-Honesty and the Path to Forgiveness, Toby recalls his past actions and confronts guilt, while Hannah accepts him fully and embraces both his vulnerability and his past: “He was brilliant. He was hungry. He was gentle. And he never missed picking up on a damn thing, especially when it involved me” (178). Their connection solidifies the idea that identity is relational; who they are emerges most clearly when they are together, in keeping with the theme of How Love Shapes Identity.


At the same time, the recurring motif of the ocean and its storms reveals the danger that coincides with the characters’ emotional connection. Metaphorical comparisons of both characters to the sea abound. For instance, Hannah describes Toby kissing her “like the tide comes in, little by little by little” (149). In this case, the simile reflects Toby’s cautious, growing attachment. By contrast, Toby’s recognition of a metaphorical storm in Hannah—“As far as I’m concerned, Hannah the Same Backward As Forward, you’re the storm” (154)—hints at the potential for violence and destruction that underpins the relationship. Likewise, Hannah and Toby’s shared walks and moments on the beach provide occasions for intimacy but also tension. It is during one of these interludes that Toby reflects that while they have led similar lives, her selflessness sets her apart from him—a remark that implies incompatibility.


Hannah and Toby’s physical union thus coincides with intense psychological stakes. Kaylie’s vision guides Hannah to embrace life and love without regret, but Hannah’s decision to put her past behind her is followed almost immediately by the resurfacing of more of Toby’s memories, which raises further questions about Inheritance and the Choice to Be Different. That the poison tree poem triggers those memories solidifies its relationship to lineage and the sins of the past, as does the name of Toby’s biological father: William Blake. However, it is the recovered memory of the fire and Kaylie’s death that catalyzes the story’s climax, as Toby almost dies by suicide. Although Hannah saves him, his sense of his family as a “poison tree” that has corrupted him as well contributes to his decision to protect Hannah by leaving. Even after he disappears, his presence lingers, and threats from his adoptive mother establish an atmosphere of persistent danger that creates a suspenseful conclusion to the novel’s first half.

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