Rohr explains that people spend the first part of their lives figuring out their basic identities, how to support themselves, and developing their social connections. By mid-life many people are scared to renew themselves and let go of anything, but embracing change is a necessary part of maturing and growing as a person. Many resist this process and remain immature and self-centered instead. He clarifies that people cannot grow just by reading certain books or following gurus or leaders, but must live the process themselves. While he believes that juniors cannot really relate to elders, people in the second half of life should empathize with them.

Many cultures are also preoccupied with ideas about identity, gender and gender roles, and having security. So many people’s lives still revolve around answering these questions and forming identities around them. Rohr questions these priorities. He acknowledges that everyone needs boundaries and basic necessities, as well as validation, but at some point life must progress beyond these basic things. He points to psychologist Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, claiming that in this framework our culture would still be considered in an “adolescent” stage, as it is focused on meeting very basic needs, e.g., physical and emotional security, feeling successful, and gaining validation. While feeling secure (physically, emotionally, financially) is important, it should not be all-consuming for either the individual or society.

Carl Jung introduced the concept of there being two halves of life, and many other thinkers have built on this idea. All of them agree on two main insights: The first half of life can only really be understood once you reach the second half, and that societies are meant to be led by initiated people who have earned “elder status.” Rohr laments that immature societies tend to produce immature leaders; this is one of the downsides of democracy. Immature people often disguise their narcissistic tendencies by presenting as civilized and polite to others.

Rohr reiterates that growth and change are essential to spirituality, and that without them people can become rigid, egotistical, and fundamentalist. Jesus told people to repent (literally meaning to change their minds), but Christians do not emphasize this teaching, and organized religion tends to be uncomfortable with change. Instead it tends to encourage a nostalgia for an imagined past, which is emphasized over the present or future.

Rohr feels that organized religion and its pastors are too interested in offering familiar and comforting narratives, which he calls “fast food religion” (8). He feels that real encounters with God can be challenging and uncomfortable. He feels that this approach has resulted in pastoral confusion, making people with the best values passive while those with the worst are confident and outspoken. He feels that part of this problem is a lack of understanding of the two halves of life.

In Rohr’s first chapter he encourages the reader to associate self-centeredness with immaturity, both at the individual and societal level. In his discussion about the differences between maturity and immaturity, he refers to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In doing so he integrates modern psychology into his perspective, making his discussion more academic and showing his respect for different schools of thought. Rohr’s analysis critiques modern American culture and again portrays it as superficial and overly defensive. He writes,

In the first half of life, success, security, and containment—‘looking good’ to ourselves and others—are almost the only questions. They are the early stages in Maslow’s ‘hierarchy of needs’…later stages in the hierarchy of needs—like those for education, health care for the poor, and the arts—are quickly cut, if even considered. The message is clear: We are largely an adolescent culture (4).

This discussion reiterates that matters of identity and security are basic needs which must be fulfilled, but should not be individuals’ or societies’ only concerns.

The author’s repeated advice to embrace change and challenge makes it clear that Rohr regards these uncomfortable aspects of growing older as things readers must use for self-development, rather than avoid. By sharing his own experience as a pastor, Rohr portrays how his feelings on this topic have made him an outlier amongst the Catholic clergy, and many Christians in general. He writes,

As a priest for over half a century, I have found that much of the spiritual and pastoral work of churches is often ineffective at the levels of real transformation. Instead, it calls forth immense passivity and even many passive-aggressive responses. As a preacher, I find that I am forced to dumb down the material in order to interest a Sunday crowd that does not expect or even want any real challenge; nor do people exhibit much spiritual or intellectual curiosity (9).

His frank wording in this passage urges the reader to become more active and hard-working in their own faith and self-development. The author’s critique of the church and its followers helps him establish himself as a challenging, rather than placating, mentor.

Chapter Lessons

• Self-centeredness and a focus on identity and security are signs of immaturity
• Challenge and change are necessary for growth
• Christians should engage with teachings with curiosity and open-mindedness

Reflection Questions

• Rohr feels that many clergy and congregations are passive and feel threatened by challenge. How would you characterize your own perspective and behavior? What about your congregation (if you attend a church or other religious community)?
• Do you agree with Rohr’s assessment that the modern US is an “adolescent culture”? Why or why not?
• Rohr presents change and challenge as essential for personal growth and spiritual development. What is an example of a challenge or major change that has shaped the trajectory of your own life? How were you impacted by that experience?