Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (2011) is a Christian spirituality and self-help book by American author and Franciscan priest Richard Rohr. In his work Rohr argues that modern culture prizes security and success but neglects spiritual development and purpose. As a result, many people do not gain the wisdom, compassion, and sense of purpose they should experience in the second half of their lives. Rohr believes that midlife is a unique time in which people can experience suffering and setbacks which are not actually failures, but the beginning of deeper spiritual growth and real maturity. Rohr draws on many sources, including Jungian psychology, ancient myths, Christian scriptures, and other cultural examples, to guide the reader through their own second-half journey.

Key takeaways include:

• Work With Suffering, Not Against It
• Treat Loss as Initiation Rather Than Interruption
• Acknowledge and Embrace Life’s Paradoxes
• Question Rigid and Exclusionary Thinking
• Prioritize Compassion and Generosity

This guide uses the 2023 Kindle edition published by Jossey-Bass.

Summary

In his Introduction, Rohr claims that myths and storytelling hold valuable spiritual truths. One of these is the classic “down then up” trajectory of spiritual growth, in which people face humbling loss and uncertainty, which then puts them on the path of spiritual maturity. In “The Two Halves of Life,” Rohr builds on Carl Jung’s notion of the two halves of life. He claims that in the first half, people tend to focus on building a firm identity and belief system, and work on developing the pragmatic foundation of their life, such as a home and profession. People in the first half of life tend to focus on looking good to others and feeling secure, and are frightened of the change and openness necessary to move into the second half of life. Rohr labels modern America an “adolescent culture” in which most people never progress beyond this phase.

In “The Hero’s Journey,” Rohr explains that the classic hero always endures struggles and loss before learning from their experiences and completing their hero journey by passing on their knowledge to others. He laments that modern culture has confused fame and success for heroism, when being a hero has always meant making sacrifices for others. In the next chapter, the author explains the importance of being raised with clear boundaries and moral codes, and the necessity of rebelling against them to articulate one’s own values. He critiques American culture as being too entitled and neurotic, and overly concerned with notions of identity and security. Rather than always expecting linear progress, Rohr feels that people should acknowledge the universal process of loss before gain.

In “The Tragic Sense of Life,” Rohr credits Spanish philosopher Miguel de Unamuno with arguing that disorder is inherent in life, and that life’s purpose is not to attain perfection. Rohr argues that Jesus’s parables include such paradoxes, and encourage people to not be rigidly perfectionistic about their own lives or the world, as this twisted idealism can lead to terrible hatred and violence. In “Stumbling Over the Stumbling Stone,” the author argues that spiritually mature people have all faced terrible loss or humbling challenges. Even Jesus did not simply ascend to heaven—he first was crucified and went to hell. The author encourages the reader to pay attention to their lives and embrace their pain instead of rebelling against it or blaming it.

In “Necessary Suffering,” the author argues that suffering is evident in all of creation and should not be derided or avoided. He explains Jesus’s instruction to “leave” your family, interpreting this to mean that believers must leave their comfort zones and nuclear families to develop real maturity and wisdom. In “Home and Homesickness,” Rohr explains that everyone feels a sense of longing for their spiritual home and union with God. Rather than numbing or distracting themselves from this uncomfortable feeling, people should embrace deep experiences to get beyond the surface of life and enter the spiritual depths, which will lead to their “homecoming.” 

In “Amnesia and the Big Picture,” Rohr feels that everyone has a spiritual “amnesia” in which they forget their connection to God and must rediscover it by shedding their False Self and living as their True Self. While the False Self is oriented towards future rewards and punishments, the True Self understands that heaven and hell can be experienced now. People create heaven through compassion and inclusion, while hell manifests through superiority and separation.

In “A Second Simplicity,” Rohr explains his personal journey, beginning with his conservative, rural upbringing to his education and training as a Franciscan monk. Throughout his life, Rohr has become more open and inclusive, and interprets much of the Bible as full of archetypes and parables rather than literal histories. He encourages people to learn to better tolerate uncertainties and tensions rather than clinging to rigid beliefs. In “A Bright Sadness,” Rohr describes the second half of life, focusing on how he believes elders are less angry, judgmental, and anxious. He examines the role of the persona and the shadow, arguing that people must interrogate the “false sense” of the persona and their negative traits, or “shadows,” to grow spiritually. 

In “New Problems and New Directions,” the author explains how people in the second half of life may find themselves with very different priorities from the people and institutions in their lives. Since they are more gracious, compassionate, and open-minded, the rigidity and bureaucracy around them may be especially frustrating or foreign to them. In his final chapter, “Falling Upward,” Rohr explains that having deep relationships with others is crucial for spiritual maturity. “Mirroring,” or having one’s good or negative traits reflected back through someone else, helps people learn about themselves. 

In his Afterword, Rohr explains his happiness at the book’s positive reception. He revisits the importance of paradoxes, arguing that they are not poor thinking but the result of accepting the nuances inherent in life and faith. He also clarifies that sin is often a “collective illusion” in which culture normalizes harmful behavior, such as selfishness, violence, and bigotry. In his “Coda,” Rohr interprets Thomas Merton’s poem “When in the Soul of the Serene Disciple,” explaining how it captures Merton’s experience of the second half of life.